apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
