He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
