but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
