now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
