it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
