i barfeds in our rink
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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