a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize