I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
