I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
