called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
