He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
