i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize