Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
