he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
