I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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