Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So vagazzling was a success
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
