Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
