Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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