question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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