I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
