love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dick very happy bro
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
