Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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