listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
