He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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