another moral hangover. fuck.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
