Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
