i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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