At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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