You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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