that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
