You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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