I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
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