She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish you could order shots online.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
