so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We have started to decorate penises.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
