I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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