Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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