I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
