Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
