What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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