I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
