No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
