so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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