She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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