I hate all girls vehemently.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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