Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
