That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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