my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
