i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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