This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
