So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
