Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize