can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
