Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
