Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
