Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
there's paper in my vomit.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He uses pillows to masturbate.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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