my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
