We won't sleep together?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
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