Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
