sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
