nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
do herpes really smell.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
