she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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