we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
