So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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