I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
